I’ll never forget that morning, it was September 11th, 2016. I woke up, put my feet on the floor, rose to a standing position and instantly lost consciousness - falling forward with a thud. I awaked to discover that I was lying on the carpet, staring straight at the floorboard. Our apartment bedroom was small and I was two inches away from cracking my skull on the bottom corner of the door jamb.
You would think something like that would slow me down right?
Nope! I got right up. I remember thinking, “Wow, that was weird! But, I’m ok!”
I shook it off, brushed my teeth and went downstairs to make my 1st cup of coffee. When my husband and sons woke up a couple of hours later to begin getting ready for church, I casually shared, “You know the weirdest thing happened this morning. I got out of bed and I passed out.” They looked shocked, but I assured them I was ‘just fine.’ And on we went on with our day.
The next day, my Morning Show co-host Karl must have noticed something was different because as soon as he saw me, he said, “Juni, are you alright?” Can you guess what followed?
“Of course! I’m fine!” I beamed. He didn’t look convinced.
Our primary topic at the start of each hour was concerning the many 9/11 memorials in honor of loved ones lost on one of the saddest days in North American history. But that wasn’t the only headline - strangely enough, Hillary Clinton also passed out that day while waiting for her ride after attending a memorial ceremony.
By early afternoon on Tuesday, September 13th, I was in the emergency room because of exhaustion and dehydration. As I laid there with my IV, I remembered the events of the previous week: A prayer-walk across downtown Chicago with hundreds of others crying out for healing of the plague of escalating violence in our city. Culminating into a gathering of thousands to discuss what we could each do to unite and fight back the darkness.
Lying there, still and quiet for the first time that year, I considered the facts: I’d been suppressing heartache every single day as I worked overtime while downplaying my grief over my mother’s death. On top of that I was trying to process incomprehensible bad news I’d received about my husband and his extended family.
The months leading up to that day are best described as a kind of Sorrow Tsunami that started building about 10 thousand miles offshore, and when it came crashing into my soul, my body simply gave out. The problem was, my mind didn’t. You see, I can be quite stubborn. If you’d asked me then, I’d shake it off and say, “You know me, I’m determined, committed, tenacious, resolute!”
If you ask me now, I wholeheartedly admit that my decisions then were nothing but foolish, proud, and dangerous. What was I thinking?
Wisdom comes from some of the most beautiful places. The inspiration for this blog for example came from my son, Elijah. He’s blessed with a wonderful AS* mind that enables him to naturally ‘think different.’ Recently after returning from an especially stressful, 7th grade school day, He asked me to pray with him and we did. Then we held each other for a bit before he said,
“I’m going to my room to take a nap,
I need time to be sad today.”
There’s not much more I need to share about this. His statement says it all.
My prayer for you today is that you will decide to be determined, committed, tenacious and resolute about rest.
Make time to be sad, right now if you need to and be blessed because you are beloved.
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For more encouragement on the topic of making time, consider what the Bible says in the book of Ecclesiastes, chapter 3, verses 1-11.
Join in the ‘Quest for Joy ’ and share your thoughts and lessons learned about courageous rest!
*ASD – Autism Spectrum Disorder, but I don’t use the word, ‘Disorder’ when describing my son’s beautiful mind cause he ain’t nothing but a blessing! XD